I’ve had a couple of interesting days, in the back of my brain anyway. I haven’t actually done a lot, but I feel like I’m finally starting to hit reset. I was motivated enough to clean off some surfaces and get a couple of loads of laundry done. Like I was excited to do them. Usually at this point in time I would get some random assignment or something that crushes my spirits again. But not this time. I’m getting a bit more excited in thinking about what I want to work on. I’ve also changed up my mindset on a couple of things.
On writing – It’s less of a chore when I think of it as a way to slow my thoughts down and really examine them. I know I have symptoms of ADHD. I tend to have a thousand thoughts running through my head, one crowding out another. It becomes so much that I just simply stop and do nothing. That’s where my chronic procrastination comes from. It’s a lot of self doubt and examination of my thoughts before taking any action. Sometimes when I figure out the best path and start doing a thing, I just stop when it doesn’t go the way I thought it would. To be stupidly cliché about it, I have to start embracing imperfection. Writing is a great way for me to lay out my thoughts and set a path. Slow it down, expand on it, remove the creeping doubt around everything I do.
On “fixing” things – It makes more sense to me to just reset the board and start from scratch. Think about what I actually need for the task/project at hand and start from the basics. There’s no need to try to fix everything. Just work on things one piece at the time and try not to worry about imperfections.
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